The Time Vortex
by ClockworkScales
Summary: Rose is miserable and asks the Doctor what happens when you die. Better yet, he even knows the answer - kinda. Ten/Rose. One-shot.


_Okay, I haven't actually seen Doctor Who for ages, but I felt like writing this fic anyhow. One shot. Rose asks the Doctor what happens when you die. - And in case I confused a few people, yes, I did change my user name. I wanted to break a few links and generally confuse people who were trying to link old pages of mine together - so, sorry!_

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Rose and the Doctor were spending their afternoon tea in the Tardis. The lights were as bright as always, and Rose sat on the floor picking at her McDonald's fries while the Doctor leaned against the Tardis control panel sipping some coffee and reading a newspaper. They had just left Britain in 1938 and were heading through the time vortex like they were on a plane trip with that dozy waiting vibe. The Tardis jerked occasionally, but the Doctor never did spill his coffee. He peered down at Rose and sighed exasperatingly.

'Roooseee…' he crooned, resting the newspaper on the control board and leaning down to sit next to the blonde haired girl picking at her chips morosely. 'What's the matter? You wanted to get some chips so we got some chips but now you don't even want to eat them.'

His large brown eyes scanned her face, but Rose never lifted her face – almost like she was zoning out, but she was very much aware of what the Doctor was saying. 'Nothing's wrong, and I am eating my chips... just really slowly.'

The Doctor stared at her for a few moments and lifted his hand under her chin to make her look up. She looked at the floor at first, but then glanced into his serious, yet concerned, face.

'Rose! It certainly is not nothing! You've been like this all day, do you mind telling me what's bothering you?' he paused and exhaled. 'Because it's certainly something.'

'Can I have the rest of your coffee?'

'Huh?'

'I'll tell you what's bothering me if you let me drink it.'

'Oh, all right then.'

Rose took the coffee out of the Doctor's hand and drunk the beverage savagely, wiping her lips and placing the carton on the floor when she was done. Then she looked into the Doctor's face. He looked so worried.

'Doctor, do you ever have dreams?'

'Of course I do- who doesn't when you have such a wonderful place to explore?'

Rose smiled faintly before continuing.

'That's the thing,' she sighed. 'I had this dream, right? And now I feel really miserable and sad.'

The Doctor scooted next to her and gave her hand a pleasant squeeze.

'Tell me about it.'

Rose stole another glance from her dear Doctor and then took a deep breathe, albeit retracting her hand.

'I dreamt I was in space, standing on an immense platform. I was all alone, and there wasn't much a sign or anything around me. The platform was made of metal or something, and somehow I could breathe in space and the platform had its own gravity.'

The Doctor nodded, indicating for her to continue.

'I kept walking and walking trying to find the edge, trying to find something, but there was nothing there, just the platform for miles. I eventually gave up and a vision appeared before me. The Master. He was like a hallucination, or something. Anyway, he kind of laughed at me. I asked him, "What are you doing here? How do I get away from here?"

He said,

"I'm here because you wanted a sign you were not alone. Your precious Doctor can't help you now; this is a place entirely of your own making. Your mind." Then he laughed again, kind of maliciously, really. "The only way you can escape is by..." A sadistic grin. "... killing yourself. That's the only way."

"But why would I want to do that?" I asked him. "Why would I want to do that when there are so many good things to live for?"

The Master stopped laughing at this point, and then smiled sadly… which I hadn't really seen before. He said, "Because you want the truth. And death is where you will find it."

And then I woke up.' Rose frowned, and tried to swallow the bulge in her throat but it got stuck half way down. She let out a small gasp and dared herself to look at her lovely Doctor.

The Time Lord was solemn. 'That is quite a dream,' he said. 'I don't blame you for wanting to know truth though; it's very much what I try to find. But here, you end up finding a lot of different truths, and mushing them all together like play doh and that allows you to meld your own truth, and find some shred of what truth really is. It's a bit messy, really… but that being said, I assume the contents of the dream disturbed you?'

'Yeah, they did. Well done, Doctor. You're a genius,' Rose said sarcastically.

'Ah, Rose, don't be like that.' But tears started to fall down Roses cheeks and the Doctor ushered her into his arms. 'Oh, Rose, don't - I'm sorry.'

Rose clamped her arms around her Doctor's waist and sobbed into his chest, while the Doctor held her and stroked her hair. When Rose withdrew, sniffing and wiping her face with the hem of her pink jacket, she asked the Doctor something.

'Doctor, have you ever been suicidal?'

The Doctor studied her. The Tardis hummed and shuddered for a moment, knocking over the coffee cup. The Doctor nodded, ignoring the cup. 'Yes, I have.'

'How did you get over it?'

'Hmm… Well,' he began, 'I wouldn't say I've truly gotten over it. Death is still very much one of many things I have yet to experience. I'd say I've more made peace with death and accepted it, as I have with life. The truth is that life is one truth, and death is another. They're just different mediums of expressing it.'

Rose understood what he meant.

'Rose, do you want to kill yourself?'

It was an honest question - no more, no less. Rose answered in very much the same manner.

'Well… I thought I did. I feel like I want to, but… it doesn't seem right.'

'Why do you feel that way? Why does it not seem right to you?'

'Well… I guess, putting it in the way you mentioned… it's like… well, life is one truth and death is another. I guess it's only right to die once our lives are over.'

'That's more or less how it works, yes. Being a Time Lord my life is a lot longer than yours, but the Tardis manages to keep things interesting… as do you.'

Rose smiled and leant back into the Doctor's chest, making a small hiccup noise. The Doctor stroked her hair and then wrapped his arms around her. Rose pressed her face into his pinstriped suit and shut her eyes a moment before opening them.

'Doctor, do you know what happens when you die?'

'Hmm…' there was a pause, as if he was considering how to answer. 'Yes.'

'… What is it?'

The Doctor paused for a moment and thought. _Rose wouldn't believe me if I lied... _

'I don't really know what it is, to be honest with you. I know that when we die, our souls join the time space continuum – the very space we travel through with the Tardis. Because the time space continuum is very much _alive_. For us Time Lords, when we looked into the vortex when we were young, and heard that drumming noise… that is very much… that is the sound of death.'

'Oh god,' Rose said. 'That must be traumatizing to hear, isn't it?'

'No… actually, it's not, really…' the Doctor said. 'It's … ah, what's the right word… it's peaceful. It's contemplative. It's mysterious, and strangely attractive in its own right. But it's something we will learn to know once again when we pass on. It's quite simple. I am not entirely sure how it works, however. I can't exactly tell you what it's like. When my body regenerates it is filled with light – that time vortex energy – which allows my personality to change, my body to change, and gives me a different, new type of life. It keeps me going.'

There was a silence.

'I must say, I'm not used to having this type of conversation with people,' Rose admitted sheepishly. 'But it is really interesting, and I'm glad I'm having it with you, of all people.'

The Doctor laughed and ruffled her hair.

'You're okay, then?'

'Yeah…' Rose smiled. 'Yeah… I think I am. I think I will be.'

The Doctor gave her a hearty smile, his eyes filled with glee. 'Very well, then!' He stood abruptly. 'Let's get this coffee in the bin!' He picked it up and threw it in small rubbish bin under the dashboard which caught alight and disintegrated. 'You can look at this paper!' He lobbed the newspaper off the dashboard toward Rose, who read the front page "Mysterious Man Saves Britain – Again!" then put it down. 'And let's get this show on the road!'

He yanked a few levers on the dashboard and the Tardis gave the familiar lurch as it begun to hurtle through space at a faster speed. Rose leaned next to the Doctor and chuckled.

'On a completely unrelated note…' she gave him a small prod in the chest. 'Why do you think the Master was in my dream instead of you?'

'Well… let's look at it this way… Are you afraid of him?'

'Yes, but –'

'Were you afraid of what he was saying?'

'Yeah, kinda, but –'

'Do you want him to dominate you?'

Rose stopped dead. 'WHAT?'

The Doctor exploded with laughter and Rose started slapping him on the arm.

'You're crazy, oh my god! It was just a dream!'

'Yes, you just keep telling yourself that,' he winked.

'You're cheeky, you are.'

He grinned broadly. 'I was just joking. I'd much rather watch you flaunt your stuff.'

Rose snorted loudly and then cracked up laughing, clutching her ribs in agony.

'That's right, just keep laughing,' the Doctor continued. 'Oh, you still are? Excellent! Okay, I should try something else. You're coming on a date with me, yes. Yes, you're coming on a date with me and there's nothing you can do about it.'

The Tardis stopped and the Doctor strode over to the door and kicked it open, gesturing toward the door. 'After you, princess.'

'You're so full of it, Doctor,' Rose said, and she pinched his cheek as she passed. 'Okay, let's go, then. Follow me, dear lackey, or I'll have your dignity for dinner!'


End file.
